Turning the Page in Life. Youth to Elder.

So lately, I have had many life moments where I am realizing that I am no longer that young kid who wants to conquerer the world.  Now I am that old guy who is grumpy and wants to be left alone.  When did this all change?  It happened very quietly.  I know things were starting to become different when I use my computers.  I notice, i don’t want to install software and experiment as much.  I just want it to work.  I noticed that I am now very reliant on consistency in my daily routine.  I no like surprises or interruptions.   I notice when my teenage boys are posting online, half the lingo, discussions they have, I can’t even decipher.  I am now,  “Mr. Lepre” to my sons’ friends  and I am accepting of that name.

Amy and I love our Saturday routine and I am frequently wanting to take naps on a Sunday afternoon.  I am territorial now.  I don’t like my things being touched if it is mine.  Nothing worse than buying a box of batteries for my gadgets/accessories and then going to recharge them and have NOTHING left in the box.  I prefer a good intelligent movie over a movie with lots of violence and sex.   When I am driving, I would prefer to listen to a talk show pundit or a comedy channel.  I constantly think about how fast the day and time goes over the course of a week.  I have more friends or people I know suddenly dying.  I look back at my past and think.  My God, it was nearly 25 years ago when I graduated!  I now think of how to get to $1 million dollars in Retirement funds before I get to 55 and how bad the medical coverage is getting.  401K is no longer some old fart’s concern, it is MINE.  The Dr. is going to be my next best friend.

So, it all sound morbid.  It sounds like I am sad this is happening.  Actually, the funny part of it is, It’s not that at all.  I would not trade the world for being the young kid again.  MAYBE 30.  I think I would like to do the last 12 years over, but there is a certain satisfaction in my new chapter.

I say this a lot.  I am in at the sunrise of my old age.  I am just starting to see it coming over the horizon.  The quicker I accept it and move on, the more I will come to enjoy it.  See, I have been an “A Plus” personality for all my working years.  I wanted to get ahead and be the best in what I do.  I think I still have that ambition, but it is different now.  I don’t want to be number one.  I just want to be respected in my field and be able to accomplish things without the politics.  I am no longer wanting to work overnight for 3 days straight to prove I am not like most people.  I want to work normal hours and still get things done.  That is working SMARTER.  But one thing I have to say.  I want to enjoy each minute of my time off more and more.  I completely enjoy sitting in my backyard every chance I get and enjoy the birds, the sunlight and the feeling of being alone to my thoughts.  It is truly something I cherish.  All my youth, I have been so quick to get things accomplished and not sit around (I will sleep when I am dead) and take everything in.  It is so funny when I sit here and stare out into the yard.  I notice things now.  I notice each day the differences in the season. How the yard was gray and muddy and in a few short weeks, it is vibrant with greens and yellows.  The smell in the air is more pleasant.  It is truly a miracle.

In the next 15 years or so, I want to start to wind down.  Let the young people run around and be conquerors of the world.  My time has past and I want to enjoy it in my early “retirement”.  I want to go fishing with my best friend Kevin and talk about how the young whipper snappers are out of control…. watch our kids get married and have their own kids.  I want to spend time with my wife and fall in love all over again and travel the world.  That is my desire, and that is what I am going to focus on in the next chapter of my life.  Because the difference between my youth and where I am today, I know all too well today, we all are on borrowed time.  Enjoy it while you have it to enjoy!

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